From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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