with your own penis?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
