Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
