just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
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I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
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I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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