Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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