why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
