i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So what if is hockey, you donβt turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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