I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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