Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
