I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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