You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you win again, gameday.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
