Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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