Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?