I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to