life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize