He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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