My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
