Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
40s are totally the cure
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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