Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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