This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
