Tell her she can't have a vagina
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
