you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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