I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
