I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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