toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
