No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
