We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
