Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
