Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
