I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
