Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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