he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
