Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
