Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
