i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
