Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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