dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
