Quick, to the slutcave!
my sisters under your porch take her home
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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