I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm bleeding and have questions
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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