belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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