I could make wine with my vomit
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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