Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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