I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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