Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
