im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
