Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
