woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize