yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
