like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
