My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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