I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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