youre lurking in front of me
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
