if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
accomplished twins. life is a go
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
