In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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