some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
