I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
