im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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