If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
false alarm. still invincible.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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