Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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