And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
