Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
