I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
