i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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