I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Randomize
