I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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