wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
im holly from the hills drunk
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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